Asking Eric: Workplace ignored husband’s death – AL.com

Two white roses on a dark background. With Deepest Sympathy textDreamstime/TCADear Eric: When I hear of a death in the family of someone I know, I send a sympathy card. I appreciated the many cards I received when my husband died, and one kind friend donated to a charity we support.But when my mother died two years ago after a long incurable illness, I received just one card from a friend, and only a few verbal acknowledgements where I work.I’ve seen email thanks from other employees for gifts and flowers they received from the company for births and minor illnesses, but I feel hurt and unappreciated that I didn’t receive even a sympathy card.It seems in this workplace we don’t acknowledge death; are flowers or a small donation to the charity we mentioned in Mom’s obituary, or even just a tangible sympathy card, expecting too much from one’s employer? I haven’t expressed my disappointment to my management team, but I still feel hurt and think about quitting. Are my expectations unrealistic?– Unacknowledged GriefDear Grief: I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother and your husband. Grief is hard enough to navigate on its own; worse when you feel like no one sees it.You write that you only received one card from a friend, so I’m curious if your feelings about the lack of acknowledgement from your workplace are being magnified by a more amorphous pain around lack of acknowledgement from your friend group.That is to say, grief latches on to what’s available. Both slights can hurt, but going into the office every day and thinking about what you wished had happened, might put quitting at the top of your mind. Your expectations aren’t unrealistic – we’re humans, even when we’re clocked in, and we should be shown empathy and kindness. But in lieu of quitting, talking about your feelings in grief counseling or a grief support group.When you’re ready, consider talking to your management team about how the workplace can better support other grieving employees going forward. They can’t fix what they didn’t do for you, but, if you have the capacity, you can help change the culture for others.Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.Use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement, (updated 8/1/2024) and acknowledgement of our Privacy Policy, and Your Privacy Choices and Rights (updated 1/1/2025).© 2025 Advance Local Media LLC. All rights reserved (About Us). The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Advance Local.Community Rules apply to all content you upload or otherwise submit to this site.YouTube’s privacy policy is available here and YouTube’s terms of service is available here.Ad Choices

Source: https://www.al.com/advice/2025/01/asking-eric-workplace-ignored-husbands-death.html