Dear Annie: My husband won’t help shoulder the load now that we’re both retired – cleveland.com
Annie advises today’s reader to have a calm discussion with her husband about their finances and how he can help contribute. (AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh, File)APDear Annie: I am in a quandary. My husband (67) and I (65) are both retired; I do work from home two days a week for around seven hours or so a week now. He takes Social Security while I do not. He had no 401(k) to speak of. Me working now was to make up the difference.My problem is my husband sees no problem or need to get a part-time job, but he does think it’s OK for me to pick up extra hours should we need some extra money. We have had many discussions/arguments about this. Recently, he was a victim of a scammer who got into our joint accounts. We lost around $10,000. He has also been hacked several times in the 10 years we have been married.I am now thinking about keeping the money I make while working separate from our joint account. I have even thought to go as far as to divvy up the bills to force him to see where the money goes. I have never thrown in his face that I provide three times the income he does, but it’s getting to that point. I have also told him if he wants money, he will need to get a part-time job. He will look online for one but never follows through on it. I don’t know what to do. — Financially ScreamingDear Financially Screaming: I agree it would be smart to start putting money in a separate account. Of course, tell your husband before you do, and make sure he understands this isn’t meant to punish him but instead it’s to keep some money safe in case of another emergency. To that end, I’d also recommend meeting with a financial planner. It never hurts to have a pro look over the numbers — and with your husband’s tendency to fall for scams, they might be able to ensure a little more protection over your hard-earned money.Ultimately, you can’t continue to be the sole provider for your household. Talk to your husband calmly and directly — no arguments — about the stress this has put you under. Marriage is all about teamwork, and you deserve to have a true partner there to shoulder these challenges.View prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COMIf you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.Use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement, (updated 8/1/2024) and acknowledgement of our Privacy Policy, and Your Privacy Choices and Rights (updated 1/1/2025).© 2025 Advance Local Media LLC. All rights reserved (About Us). The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Advance Local.Community Rules apply to all content you upload or otherwise submit to this site.YouTube’s privacy policy is available here and YouTube’s terms of service is available here.Ad Choices
